WHAT'S YOUR CLUTTER BLOCK?
The Blob of Stuff, Death Cleaning, and The Pro-Clutter Camp
“It is never too late to do anything, unless it is really too late and you are dead. The moment you start thinking it is too late, then you begin to die.” - Margareta Magnusson
Hiya, Friends!
Whoo-wee, I am wiped out. I spent the last week attempting to do some decluttering and it’s been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting.
I will state for the record—though this will come as a surprise to no one—I’m a sentimental so and so. I still listen to the vinyl records that I’ve been lugging around for 30+ years, and there are boxes in the basement that contain nearly every letter I’ve ever received, along with old work ids, art projects, and tons of ephemera.
I suspect I’ve held onto this stuff because when I was kid, we moved a lot. I had to quickly pull up stakes and start fresh at a new school seven times. It was disorienting and destabilizing and, while I haven’t run this theory by a mental health professional, I’m guessing that these trinkets from my past represent a connection to the places I’ve been and people I’ve known.
Consequently, our house is a museum of keepsakes and bric-a-brac that at one point or another sparked joy. Lately though, perhaps because I’m getting older, my stuff is stressing me out and giving me THE BLOB vibes.
Sure, my vintage glassware, books, art, photographs, family heirlooms, and endless array of neck scarves are more aesthetically pleasing than a gigantic jelly monster on a path of destruction, and yet, these possessions are having a similar effect on my psyche. I find myself wondering what will become of all this stuff when I die? I have no children to burden and I certainly don’t want a stranger to find my carcass buried under a pile of unopened mail and stacks of jigsaw puzzles.
DEATH CLEANING
The polite thing to do, it seems, is pare down my crap in order to make some junk hauler’s job easier after I depart. That’s certainly the POV of the Swedes who practice döstädning, aka “death cleaning,” a method for getting rid of excess stuff while you’re still alive so your kin won’t have to deal with it post-you. This approach has grown in popularity here in the states thanks to the 2017 bestselling book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, by Margareta Magnusson. There’s even a reality show inspired by the book on Peacock, narrated by Amy Poehler, where tidy Swedes descend on flustered Americans and help bring order to the chaos.
Conceptually, I’m totally on board with death cleaning. Great idea. 10 out of 10. When I grow up, I want to be just like Margareta Magnusson—the 86-year-old author whose latest book, The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly, came out earlier this year. The only problem is, I suffer from what my professional-organizer-friend, Tracy McCubbin calls a “clutter block.”
THE SEVEN (DEADLY) CLUTTER BLOCKS
In her book, Making Space, Clutter Free, Tracy defines a clutter block as an emotional response to an object or a limiting belief that prevents you from parting with said object. And since emotional baggage comes in different shapes and sizes (I prefer a roller bag that fits in the overhead compartment), there are seven clutter blocks to choose from.
Clutter Block #1: My Stuff Keeps Me In The Past (🙋🏻♀️)
Clutter Block #2: My Stuff Tells Me Who I Am
Clutter Block #3: The Stuff I’m Avoiding
Clutter Block #4: My Fantasy Stuff For My Fantasy Life
Clutter Block #5: I’m Not Worth My Good Stuff
Clutter Block #6: Trapped With Other People’s Stuff
Clutter Block #7: The Stuff I Keep Paying For
#1 is definitely my clutter block with a bit of #6 sprinkled on top. Tracy says, “When your past is taking up prime real estate in your present, it’s a sign that some part of you might believe that the best times of your life are behind you.”
On a conscious level, I don’t believe that my best years are behind me. I’m happy with where I’m at and look forward to more adventures in the future. On a subconscious level, however, I can see how my abundance of stuff might be leaving a dearth of space available for me to branch out in new directions. In other words, I trust Tracy.
A SISYPHEAN TASK
My recent decluttering kick began when my neighbor invited me to join his upcoming garage sale. Suddenly I had a ticking clock to motivate me. I got to work on a kitchen cabinet and set aside several vases, and an old Cuisinart mini chopper, before discovering a layer of dust and sticky grime on the shelf that skeeved me out and needed to be scrubbed immediately.
Soon I was tossing out bottles of condiments from the pantry, wiping down everything, and reorganizing all the cooking oils by type. Eventually I wandered over to a bookshelf and removed several children’s books (research from when I was writing middle grade novels) and two packages of fake mustaches. 🥸 You know, for when I need to go undercover as Mr. Monopoly.
I gathered all the “garage sale” junk into a pile on the floor and, as I was about to toss an old clamp light on top, Jared said, “Let’s hold onto that. It might come in handy if I ever need to work outside at night.”
“You mean if you ever have to dig a grave?” I asked.
Side note: Jared’s been hoarding er, holding onto some old Harman Kardon Sound Sticks forever and kept talking about how valuable they were. I suggested he cash in and sell them online. So he plugged in the cord to test them out and . . . they were busted. We gave the sticks away for FREE at the garage sale.
(Jared’s clutter block is #3.)
AGONIZING QUANDARIES
As the days passed, the ever-expanding pile of garage sale crap on the floor gave me agita. It was an eyesore messing with my Feng shui, which, let’s face it, was already in sad shape. There were still so many rooms and drawers to clean and each time I picked up something to toss out, I’d be faced with agonizing quandaries. This thing is broken and can’t be recycled, but I don’t want it to sit in a landfill. What do I do with it? Someone I love gave this to me, so am I a jerk for getting rid of it? What if this thing is worth money? Should I try to sell it? To be honest, I spent many days on the verge of tears, completely overwhelmed by it all.
THE SIDE EFFECTS OF CLUTTER
Experts have done studies and there’s no question that clutter negatively impacts our lives. Everyone loves to bang on about the perils of sugar and how it’s basically poison, but at least it tastes delicious. Clutter, on the other hand, has no redeeming qualities except for maybe an occasional curio that brightens your day. The visual distraction of clutter causes the brain to short-circuit and reduces memory retention. People who describe their homes as cluttered have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their systems that can trigger a flight or fight response, thus resulting in weakened immune system or heart disease or diabetes.
THE PRO-CLUTTER CAMP
Based on all of the above information, I was surprised to read the recent article in The Washington Post making a case against decluttering. The author of the piece argues that our obsession with decluttering is bad for the planet and makes us ashamed of our homes. Plus, she says, it unfairly relies on women to do the bulk of the work.
An orderly home feels like an orderly soul. But the concept of “purging” has some very dark undertones — bulimia, shame-based purity cultures, genocide — and those undertones echo today as well. As is true for purity culture and eating disorders, decluttering relies primarily on female labor and female shame: Women do the bulk of decluttering, and are most harshly judged for an inadequate effort. “Generally, women are still viewed as the household manager,” said Jill Yavorsky, a sociologist at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte who studies gender and housework. “And so ultimately, unfortunately, we still see that women bear the responsibility of making sure their house is very clean and organized.” In fact, she pointed out, if men carried an equal housework load in heterosexual marriages, decluttering might not even be necessary because not as much stuff would build up: “The reason that clutter builds up is because there is more work than one person can handle.”
Okay. She makes some valid points. If my house is messy, I will not invite someone inside because, yes, I’m ashamed of the disarray. I disagree that decluttering has to be bad for the planet though. Below I share some tips on how to dispose of tricky items in a thoughtful and sustainable way. And while I may be the chief declutterer in our house, Jared does everything else around here. He grocery shops, does the laundry, runs the dishwasher, cleans the storm gutters, takes out the garbage, and pays the bills. I remember telling a friend about Jared’s chore list once and she said, “So what do you do?” I mean, clearly not much.
THE GARAGE SALE
Last Saturday was the garage sale. I made $54 and gave away tons of items for free. Afterwards, I dropped off three bags of leftover merchandise at my local charity shop. Some of the more “collectible” items are for sale in an Etsy store. Do any of you want a Mickey Mouse Waffle iron? 15% off for Subscribers! Or make me an offer. Everything must go!
HOW TO DISPOSE OF TRICKY ITEMS
During my previous clean sweeps in years past, I held on to stuff that I didn’t want purely because I had no idea how to sustainably dispose of it. In my latest purge, I managed to find a few good resources for tricky items.
Trophies/Awards
This company recycles trophies by swapping out plaques or making structural edits, and upcycles the trophies for kids’ awards. Feel-good, right? You have to pay them $40 for their efforts and cover your own shipping, but I will sleep well at night knowing my Key Art Award isn’t under a pile of rotting food at the dump. Email recycleawards@gmail.com and let them know how many trophies/awards you have. They will get back to you with info on how to participate in their recycling program.Holiday Lights
Lots of options for recycling your old busted lights here.Tattered and hole-y Clothes
Buy a Take Back Bag from For Days and stuff it full of single socks and threadbare clothing. Ship it back to For Days and in exchange they’ll give you store credit to use.Books
Donate old books to a little free library box in your neighborhood or to the public library.And follow Tracy McCubbin on Instagram for tons of sustainable ways to declutter your life.
WHAT’S YOUR CLUTTER BLOCK?
Do you have a clutter block? If so, share it in the comments and we can commiserate on how hard it is to downsize. I can’t relate to Clutter Block #4, but it might be my favorite. Tracy gives an example in the book of a client who had a closet full of resort wear with the tags still on each item. All of this woman’s regular clothes were in a heap on the floor and it took her forever to find something to wear to work each day. When Tracy asked if she traveled to a lot of resorts, the woman said “not yet,” but that when she met the man of her dreams, she planned to jet set to foreign lands and wear all those clothes. Talk about aspirational shopping! Apparently, with Tracy’s help, this client made room in her closet for her every day wear and did eventually meet someone special. I hope she’s at a resort right now rocking something flowy.
MAYBE I’M OKAY
Today our house looks a little lighter with some of the stuff gone. Of course there’s still work to do, but it’s a start. From now on, I plan to make tiny inroads here and there and resist buying more stuff. That seems to be the message of that WSJ article as well, to be more thoughtful about the stuff we bring into our homes in the first place. Meanwhile, I find it heartening that in the video below, Margareta Magnusson’s shelves resemble mine with lots of books, photos and knick knacks. Maybe I’m doing okay after all.
That’s a wrap for this week. If you liked any of the content here, hit the ❤️ button or drop a note in the comments’ thread. I always love hearing from you.
“The reason that clutter builds up is because there is more work than one person can handle.” OMG. This is my life. I have no idea which thing I am on that list of seven, but I know this is me. There is not enough time or energy for me to deal with everything, so the stuff that's important to me gets done, and the rest... ehh. And then it becomes overwhelming, and I know this is the cycle, but that's what happens over and over again anyway.
My favorite discovery in recent years is the textile recycling near me. A local school district used to offer it as a fundraiser, and now it's done by someone else, but I have always felt, like you, that it would be awful to throw away ratty fabrics that might be able to be turned into something else. I love that there's now another way to do it--I hadn't heard of For Days before--so I will keep that in mind, too.
Clutter Block #2 and #4 here 🙋
The city of Paris has 2 programs that are really useful for helping citizens get rid of stuff. For large things that are too f*ed up to donate to charity, you can call to have them taken away (the city gives you a number to tape on the stuff and of course a date/time when it’ll be picked up.) The other cool thing is the Trimobile which is a mobile recycling center where you can drop off smaller items like toasters, knick-knacks, fabric, lighbulbs, batteries etc. The trimobile pops up in different neighborhoods on different days to make it convenient (and I actually put the dates in my Google calendar so I don’t forget!)