WE ALL NEED HOBBIES AND AUNT BOBBES

The Art of Being Interesting

Apr 02, 2023

Happy Sunday, friends! It’s glorious and sunny here in Los Angeles and the wisteria on the balcony is all in bloom. I spend a lot of time gazing at the birds, squirrels, bunnies (!!), and flowers now. This is a fairly new development for me. Not that I was impervious to flora and fauna before, but people tended to fascinate me more than my surroundings. Of course it could be age-related. A friend recently told me that once you pass forty, you’re destined to become a kooky bird lady. Lol. Guilty as charged. I also credit the pandemic for forcing me to slow down and appreciate earth’s beauty a bit more. Still, I do love my fellow humans, especially the inspiring and entertaining ones.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FASCINATING FOLKS
Throughout my life, I’ve looked up to and loved spending time around my older relatives. This clan of native New Yorkers possessed loads of charisma, style, and sophistication. I wanted to be just like them and figured if I could learn how to play bridge, knit a sweater, tell an epic joke, dress well, paint a portrait, read the New Yorker, complete the New York Times crossword puzzle, smoke a cigarette, and drink cocktails, I could be as cool and clever as my kin.

I certainly did my fair share of smoking and cocktail drinking in my day. I even told some epic jokes. Remember when we told jokes? Let’s bring jokes back! I still can’t paint a portrait, or play bridge, and I’ll never get through an entire issue of The New Yorker. In one episode of the TV show, The Good Place, there’s a room in Hell with nothing but a giant stack of New Yorkers. Makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Of course I’m aware that activities alone don’t make us intriguing people or cultivate strength of character, but they surely help. Previous generations had no internet or computers and were therefore forced out of the house and into spaces where they connected with likeminded folks. These days, nobody really has to leave the house. I’ll admit, I dread leaving my cozy abode most of the time. I like it here with the birds, and the wisteria, and hate sitting in traffic. A trip that should take ten minutes always takes 30 or an hour. Somehow I’ve convinced myself that I can’t spare that extra twenty minutes. I act as if I have very important matters to attend to like performing life-saving surgery or inventing the thing that reverses climate change. In reality, I just futz around, eat a lot of bread, stare out the window, and give the dog cuddles and treats. What I really should be doing is making more time for fun hobbies.

GET A HOBBY
According to a study in New Zealand, engaging in hobbies, ergo, any activity done for pleasure during one’s leisure time, leads to an increase in overall well-being. It also reduces stress, improves mental health, and helps build and sustain relationships.

From Utah State University: One study showed approximately 75% of participants’ cortisol levels (one of the most widely studied hormonal markers of stress) were lowered after making art. Don’t consider yourself to be an artistic person? That’s okay! This study also showed that prior experience wasn’t needed to reduce stress.
Hobbies that include physical activity have been linked to many health benefits including reduced stress, reduced blood pressure, and a lower heart rate. But if you take physical activity outside, there are many additional positive benefits. Experts agree that spending as little as 10 minutes in nature can lead to improved mood, focus, and overall wellbeing.

From WebMD: The people who were involved in the study felt a sense of positivity and upliftment after a few days of creative activity. Studies have also shown that individuals that regularly take time off for their hobbies are less likely to feel low or depressed. In fact, such activities can make you happier and more relaxed.

The studies didn’t say anything about hobbies making us more interesting humans, but I think it goes without saying. If someone asks you what you’re up to and you say, “I’m learning how to make my own shoes,” people will want to know more.

AUNT BOBBE

When it comes to interesting characters, my great Aunt Bobbe (pronounced “Bobby” and short for Roberta) ranked pretty high on the list. Well aware of her fabulousness, she occasionally signed her letters to me; “The Marvelous, Talented, Brilliant, Etc. Aunt.” A Mame figure—tall and lean, with theatrical diction, and a penchant for bright hues and butterfly prints—Bobbe excelled at bridge, crossword puzzles, witty repartee, and telling epic jokes. Knitting, however, was her main jam. I’d watch her bang out a scarf, mesmerized by her clacking needles and the speed at which she looped yarn around her slender fingers.

On several occasions, Aunt Bobbe patiently tried to teach me her craft. In her large flat on Sutton Place South, replete with red carpet and a view of the Hudson River, I’d sit beside her on the queen (natch) mattress with Meet the Press nattering on in the background. The smell of burned percolator coffee and moth balls hung in the air as she tried to guide me through a row of stitches. Sadly, precision work has always been my downfall, and as soon as she turned her back, I mangled the whole thing. She didn’t judge me harshly, however, and told me I had other talents, like writing an entertaining letter. I still love to send out hand-written letters.

Bobbe and I were pen pals for years and she typed the most wonderful letters on a typewriter with cursive keys. Below is one of her letters from 1983 when she was 71 years old and the T key was giving her grief. You can see what a full life she led—horseback riding, trips, cruises, and classes. I love that she makes a joke about being the “Grandma Moses” on her cruise. She was constantly in motion. Even when she was sitting, she was knitting. My life was so enriched by having known her and she acted as a role model for how to truly enjoy life at any age.

A KNITWEAR TIKTOK SENSATION
I thought about Aunt Bobbe the other day when I read an article in the New York Times about Delia Barry, the octogenarian who knitted sweaters worn by Colin Farrell and other cast members in the movie, The Banshees of Inisherin.

“The sweaters Ms. Barry knit for the movie were patterned after Irish fishermen’s sweaters of the 1920s. Credit...Searchlight Pictures” Pulled from NYT.

It’s a delightful read and an inspiring story even if Delia seems rather nonplussed by the fact that she’s become a TikTok sensation. “It’s pure madness,” she said of the attention. “I’ve knitted so many jumpers, they are just another jumper to me.”

On an average week, Ms. Barry rises at 6 a.m. and knits until 8:30 a.m. She always knits in the same spot — on her sofa, with the light from the window behind her. At 9:30, she goes for a walk to the beach with a friend, about two miles away. She has never owned a car, she said, and has walked everywhere her whole life. (She has also never used email.)
Knitting is therapeutic for Ms. Barry. “When you’re living on your own, it’s nice to have something to do,” she said. She knitted the sweaters for “The Banshees of Inisherin” during one of Ireland’s pandemic lockdowns, spending a week on each. “It kept me sane,” she said.

STAYING SANE
Anything that helps us stay sane is worth doing, don’t you think? I just signed up for a weaving class with a friend for her birthday. We’re going to make decorative woven garlands called “party rolls” and I’m really hoping it proves easier than knitting or I’ll be SOL. Look at how cute they are!⤵️ Maybe we’ll even meet some fascinating characters in this class!

I’ve also been attempting to complete the crossword puzzle in the Sunday New York Times magazine (we still get the analog paper delivered on Sundays). Today’s puzzle is impossible and driving me nuts. So much for staying sane. If only Aunt Bobbe were still around to help me crack some of these clues. At least I have photos and a few of her letters to remember her by. Like the one below, which contains her hilarious signature.

The signature is the best, especially because Aunt Bobbe, though exceptionally bright and talented, didn’t do things perfectly. She would use her own lanky arms and neck as a measuring guide for sweaters. So every time I received a sweater, the neck had to be rolled down and the arms practically dragged on the floor. She believed she was a great baker, but she used cake mixes for most of her creations and doctored them up with extra nuts or jam. She also considered herself very crafty for turning old soap chips and water into dishwashing liquid. Trust me when I say that the slimy soap goo she squirted on her dishes never got them clean. I often rewashed all her greasy dishes when I came to visit. Never one to acknowledge her imperfections, Bobbe did everything with a bold and confident air. Oh how I’d love to have just one iota of her confidence. My plan is to work on it and perhaps by the time I turn 71, I will possess the confidence, chutzpah, and humor to sign off like Aunt Bobbe.

Until then, thanks as always for reading, commenting, liking, and sharing. You’re all fascinating folks and I’m lucky to know you. If you enjoy any fun hobbies, please share in the comments so we can be inspired to try something new. ❤️