SHORT & SWEET #6
It's Mercury Retrograde Again (Blargh!), Never Too Late to Live the Dream, Back To Reinvention School, Cool Sleep, and Share Your Pet Pics!
“Mostly, what I have learned so far about aging, despite the creakiness of one’s bones and cragginess of one’s once-silken skin, is this: Do it. By all means, do it.” - Maya Angelou
Hiya Friends,
Brace yourselves . . . it’s Mercury Retrograde again. For anyone unfamiliar with what this means, here’s a recap from a previous post that I wrote in May:
Mercury Retrograde is also a period rife with technical and communication snafus, so if your computer is on the fritz like mine is now (*shakes fist at sky*), we know where to lay the blame. Alas, this is why I’m a day late sending out this Short & Sweet round-up of stuff I’ve enjoyed of late. Hope you do too.
NEVER TOO LATE TO LIVE THE DREAM
On Friday, I went to see Culture Club at the Hollywood Bowl with Berlin as the opening act. While I enjoyed the song stylings of Culture Club and Boy George, the real standouts of the night for me were #1) special surprise guest, Lulu (74) who joined Culture Club on stage, and sang her hit from the 1967 film of the same name,“To Sir With Love,” and #2) Terri Nunn—the 62-year-old lead singer of Berlin.
Both women looked and sounded incredible—a testament to doing what you love until you can’t do it anymore. Lulu wore an all-black get-up with glittery pants, dark shades, and sporty sneakers, and Nunn rocked cherry red hot pants with a matching cape, and some sparkle-heeled boots.
In the ‘80s, Berlin (a band from Los Angeles not Germany), had tons of chart-toppers including, “The Metro,” “No More Words,” “Masquerade,” and the Academy-Award-Winning ballad featured in the movie Top Gun, “Take My Breath Away.” And yet, according to Nunn, the band had never before played The Hollywood Bowl—one of LA’s most iconic venues. Thrilled to finally achieve this career milestone after forty+ years of performing together, the band members played a jubilant set, with Nunn wading into the crowd and high-fiving fans as she belted out a cover of The Cult’s “She Sells Sanctuary.” It was a great reminder that it’s never too late to live the dream and/or wear cherry red hot pants.
REINVENTION SCHOOL
Years ago, when I quit my corporate job at age 44 to co-author a cookbook, a lot of people cheered me on. A few folks (⬅️yes, you, Ma) however, worried I’d lost my mind and embarked on a fast-track to penury. Hell, I was right there with them. How could I not be fearful that I’d made a terrible mistake? Like most of the human race, I’d always believed my worth was tied to career accomplishments and paychecks.
But, Hilary, surely your book advance helped set you up with a nice cash cushion, right? HA! My co-author, Logan Levant and I received only $1500 as an advance for our cookbook, THE KITCHEN DECODED, split between two people. Yep, I walked away from my top-earning-potential years for a grand total of $750. All I can say is, it was worth it. Not because the cookbook became a best-seller. Spoiler alert: It did not. Still, the cookbook continues to sell copies, AND, more importantly, quitting my job reduced the stress in my life by 75%. It also reduced my income by the same percentage*, but I’m a much happier and calmer person and that, as they say, is priceless. (*We own a duplex and rent out one apartment which helps pay our bills.)
I was very lucky/privileged to have another revenue source ⬆️ and to know that writing would make me feel fulfilled in ways my career never could. Many people aren’t as fortunate and really struggle to figure out their parachute color. It’s especially hard for middle-aged folks whose entire identities are wrapped in what they do or suffer from financial insecurity. That’s why I enjoyed this article in The Atlantic about “Encore” programs cropping up at top universities to help people in their 50s and 60s discover their collective raison d’êtres. I thought: YES! THIS!!
Of course there’s a catch. These programs have “steep tuition costs” and are geared towards an elite and affluent audience with plenty of free, unpaid time to contemplate their futures. Such is the case with most things in America, but I’m certain that like all luxury goods, knock-offs are imminent, a.k.a. accessible programs open to anyone and everyone should be in the works.
The Atlantic doesn’t provide gift links, but I think the site allows readers a few free articles each month. In the excerpts below you can get a sense of how these programs work.
. . . a new program at Stanford University is called the Distinguished Careers Institute. It’s for adults, mostly in their 50s and 60s, who are retiring from their main career and trying to figure out what they want to do with the rest of their lives. The fellows spend a year learning together as a cohort of a few dozen, reinventing themselves for the next stage. “Somebody told me it offered breathing room, a chance to take a step back,” Kenner recalled.
In the 21st century, another new phase is developing, between the career phase and senescence. People are living longer lives. If you are 60 right now, you have a roughly 50 percent chance of reaching 90. In other words, if you retire in your early or mid-60s, you can expect to have another 20 years before your mind and body begin their steepest decline. We don’t yet have a good name for this life stage. Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, a notable scholar in this area, calls it the “Third Chapter.” Some call it “Adulthood II” or, the name I prefer, the “Encore Years.” For many, it’s a delightful and rewarding phase, but the transition into it can be rocky.
Many people in this stage of life realize that they abandoned some dream on their way up the career ladder—the dream of becoming a musician or a playwright or a teacher. They pick up the lost strands—the activities and the talents that have gone unrealized—and build their new lives around them.
Many of the alumni I spoke with have launched or joined programs to take on big, obvious social problems: school reform, homelessness, the dearth of women of color in tech. But I was most entranced by the people doing little things with great joy. Davis, who has worked as a management professor at the University of Chicago’s Booth School of Business for 60 years, told me, “I want to open a bakery. I don’t want to run it. I just want to bake.” Susan Nash, the former big-time lawyer, talked with great enthusiasm about how much fun she’s having reporting for a local wire service. After a career in venture capital, M. J. Elmore took a course in art history while at Stanford and now paints. “I’m in the third trimester of life,” she told me. “I’m filling it with painting.”
Since the dawn of the modern age, people have been complaining about the hollowness of the rat race, but nobody ever does anything about it. If these post-professional programs can help older people figure out what a fulfilling life looks like when work and career are no longer in the center, then maybe they’ll have some lessons for the rest of us. The emergence of a cohort of people who are still vital and energetic but who are living by a different set of values, creating a different conception of the good life, might help the broader culture achieve a values reset.
Read on here.
COOL IT NOW
I don’t know about you, but this heat has really been disrupting my sleep. It’s hard enough being a woman of a certain age with a fluctuating body temperature under “normal” circumstances, am I right? Now with global warming and the new addition of freaking humidity in Los Angeles, I swear I wake up in the wee hours with a body temp of 110 degrees and wonder How am I not dead? I guess the solution is to turn on the AC at night because according to a new study, as we age, we need cooler temps for a good night’s sleep.
PLEASE POST PICS OF YOUR CUTE PETS
This past Saturday was National Dog Day and I had the best time scrolling through the socials and seeing cute pics of everyone’s pooches. I’d love to keep that dopamine rush going all week, so please post a pic of your special furry friends (living pets and pets that are with us in spirit) in the comments here. Feel free to include how you and your pet met or a little tribute.
As for Noodle, we met when a coworker circulated a photo of him and said he needed a forever home. I took one look at that face and it was a done deal. The rescue folks said Noodle came from a hoarding situation and needed to live in a house with no kids or pets, plus he had severe separation anxiety. We said, “We’ll take him!” That was 16-years-ago and we joke that he’s never been alone, which is kind of true, but it’s really because we are just as addicted to Noodle as he is to us.
That’s a wrap for now! May your week be free from Mercury Retrograde annoyances. If you enjoyed any of the content here, hit the ❤️ button or drop a note in the comments. I always love hearing from you. xo Hilary
Hilary- Thanks for sharing about your life. But most importantly: Noodles!
I'm trying the self-taught reinvention school. With two kids in college, also trying to reinvent without dropping out. . . Thanks for the inspiration.